i'd like to take this morning and share with all of you my theory on disney movies.
bear with me - i was quite cooped up this weekend.
my college roommate and i developed this theory our freshmen year, a shining example of the future of america. let's start with the first sign that we knew something was off at disney.
as we all know (seriously, if this spoils the movie for you, you were never gonna see it anyways), bambi's mother is killed. man, had entered the forest. she is shot as she is bounding and leaping behind him to safety. shot. to. death.
let's think about when we watched this movie for the first time. five? maybe six? it is, clearly, very traumatic for a child to watch this movie and realize
omfg, MOMS CAN DIE.
(yes, caps, for the first time on the blog was required)
and yet disney movies are a staple of our childhood. my roommate and i decided to dig a little deeper, and we were shocked about what we found. and so, i present to you, our theory:
all disney movies involve an orphan or a parent's death to scare the ever loving shit out of you into finally cleaning up your room.
1. bambi - discussed above.
2. beauty and the beast - belle's mother has died.
3. the little mermaid - ariel's mother has died.
4. snow white - snow white's mother has died.
5. the lion king - watches his father fall to his death. cries about it in yo' face.
6. aladdin - jasmine's mother has died, aladdin is an orphan. double whammy.
7. the jungle book - mowgli is an orphan, raised by wild animals.
8. the princess and the frog - father dies during childhood.
9. pinocchio - never has a mother.
10. dumbo - has no father, taken away from mother.
11. cinderella - father dies, leaves her behind to evil stepmother, because, oh yes, her mom is already dead.
12. sleeping beauty - taken away from parents and raised as an orphan.
13. the rescuers - they are searching for a kidnapped orphan.
14. finding nemo - stolen away from his father.
the outliers here are lady and the tramp and 101 dalmatians, who have parents / owners. i suppose if you're a dog, you're in the clear.
so, this is the theory i leave you with on this monday morning. feel free to discuss amongst yourselves, both the theory and just how stir-crazy i got this weekend.