Thursday, September 22, 2011

on freedom.

via here.
i am a hosting a bachelorette party for my oldest friend this weekend. we have known one another for 22 years.
twenty. two. years.
like before i knew how to read. yikes.
her wedding is in a couple of weeks, and as her maid of honor, i've been pondering this friendship factoid over in my head as i've been writing my reception speech.
sidenote: i know what you're thinking.
but...colleen - you were just in a wedding.
if this becoming a wedding blog?
and my answer to that, is
or, alternatively,
we could call it:
the most expensive month
of colleen's life blog.
your choice.
you see the first wedding i went to this year, i had quite the conversation with my cab driver at five'o'clock in the morning. it was about marriage. and, if you haven't had a conversation about marriage with a new york city cab driver at that hour, trust me - you are missing out. he told me that he would never get married again - when you are married, you lose your freedom.
you lose your freedom. sound the alarm.
now, this is not a unique point of view. perhaps men say it more, but we hear it everywhere. i mean, we call our partner the old ball and chain. not very free sounding.
so i've been thinking about those 22 years she and i have spent together.
82% of my life.
it is, truly, a lifetime.
and in that time katey has given me the confidence to do more things. to try out for the softball team in high school. to take the position of catcher, even when i was fourteen years old and had never done it before. i've tried out for sports teams, auditioned for plays, participated in classes - all things i never would have done had she not been by my side.
katey has been social beacon. many, many, many, times during my childhood and teen years, i was asked if katey was attending the event at hand. if katey went, i went. if katey didn't go, my chances were much slimmer. i met countless other people and forged countless other friendships because katey was there.
katey has been my partner in crime. we have staged many, many, many lies that our parents fell for, particularly in our senior year of high school. one distinct memory is the two of us on the phone with our parents, listening to what the other said before parroting it back to our respective parent on the other end. without katey, i never would have had the teenage thrill of breaking a few rules for the sake of a good time.
in case you can't tell, the list goes on (seriously, i deleted like half the post. it was too much.) i have spent a lifetime with her, and in that time i have done, seen and tried more than if i had ever been on my own. spending a lifetime with someone isn't about losing your freedom - it's about gaining it. with them by your side you are free to do all the things you never would have before, and some that you couldn't have thought up on your own. and for me, katey has helped me do just that.
and now, i believe, i have just written my speech.


  1. If this is going to be your speech then it's perfect! I hate when people say marriage is losing your freedom - marriage is so much better than doing life by yourself!

  2. You did. You just wrote your speech. What a beautiful tribute to your friend. I know the party will be a huge success!

  3. what a sweet post. long friendships are the best. cheers to a beautiful day for your bestie!

  4. You are such an awesome maid of honor! Your speech is going to be amazing. Video??

  5. Please say what you have written here at the reception! It is amazing, Colleen! I need you to be my maid of honor! SERIOUSLY.


    Erin @

  6. A friendship like that is one to cherish! And I agree with others... marriage shouldn't be a matter of giving up your freedom. It's about finding a best friend and partner that you're committing to spending the rest of your life with. And when you find the right someone, it's freaking awesome!

  7. 22 years! friendships like that need to be super cherished! Have a great bachelorette party!

    Have a great weekend!


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