so here we are. one whole year of blogging (please, dear god, whatever you do, don't go back and read my early posts. they're truly horrifying.) blogging was my new year's resolution. after growing up playing piano and doing theater, i felt like the creative side of me was lacking. in the fall of 2009 i discovered rockstar diaries, which at the time was fairly small (relative to where it is now). i would sit in my cubicle at 3 in the morning, shivering because they turned the heat off to be a "green" building, and would read about her adventures in nyc and her move to dc and her husband and, eventually, and most importantly, her bulldog. they wore interesting clothes and they took pictures with a diana camera and as i worked 100-hour week after 100-hour week, it was so fun to use her life, basically, as an escape. and it reminded me that one does not need to be in an organized activity to be creative. so i got a diana camera. and i discovered a few more blogs. and i left that job. and so, i decided to start a blog. to write more. to take more pictures. to interact with other people. and like to think of it as two categories...
what i expected
~ that making this public would hold me accountable. sure, i could keep a diary. or a closed blog. but making it public has made me more accountable. it makes me sit down and write and think of something new to ponder about. i like it.
~ that i would enjoy looking back on what i did the past year. i've loved this part of it. i like seeing the pictures and reading my thoughts from that time. i'm interested to see what an older colleen thinks of a younger colleen. one day.
~ that i would like it this much. i really do look forward (most days) to blogging. it is a release. and i knew it would be. it's fun. and it's a nice way to end the day.
what i didn't expect
~ that loved ones would discover my blog. basically, no one knows about this blog. i have told two people - my boyfriend and my friend tina - because they would be featured on here a lot and i want them to know that and, if uncomfortable with that, tell me so. but the internet isn't as small as you would think - a friend from high school and my college roommate stumbled upon my blog on their own. and i love it. i want to feel free to write anything i want, but when people find it by happenstance, it doesn't put pressure on m or make me self-conscious. they totally become just another person out there reading. and i love that they get to see this part of me and read my posts and nothing about my writing has changed. (you should have seen my roommate's face when she told me she found my blog. priceless).
~ that my boyfriend would read it. after i told him, he has become a daily reader, and since we're in a long-distance relationship, it means a lot. when you don't see one another every day, any form of communication will do. i like that he reads it everyday because it feels like he's thinking of me. and wouldn't you know - i like that.
~ you guys. oh my gosh. you guys, you guys. i knew other people would read this - i want them to! otherwise i wouldn't put this all out there. and i knew i'd get comments. but never, ever, did it occur to me i would find daily readers - people who comment every week (or day!) and whose blogs i enjoy reading. people who get to know me and i get to know them. i can't even believe all the wonderful people this blog has brought to me. most of my experiences on this internet land of blogs have been so, so good. supportive, sweet, funny, wonderful, caring people. we're not perfect but we support one another and share our lives and try to figure out this human experience a little bit, if at all. and i just want to thank you so much if you stop by here regularly - you know who you are and i truly consider you friends. even if our paths never cross and we never meet, know that you've got a friend in me and i truly, truly, appreciate you.