the following was told to me on saturday morning and this is pretty much verbatim. enjoy. i'm in italics.
c: (after 6th truffle that morning) you have to tell me how you made these. they're amazing.
b: yeah, sure. well...you need one package of oreos, a loaf of cream cheese and chocolate dipping sauce. basically that's just melted chocolate chips.
c: a loaf of cream cheese?
b: yeah. a loaf.
c: alright...so what did you do first.
b: well i got a hammer and hammered the oreos into little pieces. in fact, i bought a hammer for this recipe.
c: you hammered the oreos?
b: yeah. it's not like i have a food processor.
c: and you specifically went out and bought a hammer to make this recipe?
b: yeah. i bought a kitchen hammer.
c: a kitchen hammer? what exactly is a kitchen hammer?
b: you know. it's like mallet-shaped. has ridges on one side.
c: wait - you mean a meat tenderizer?
b: well...yeah. a kitchen hammer.
c: oh my word.
c: nothing. ok. so you need a package of oreos, a loaf of cream cheese, melted chocolate and a kitchen hammer to make these.
c: ok. then what.
b: well, then mix the crushed oreos with the loaf of cream cheese.
c: did you melt the cream cheese at all?
b: well, no. i just kept stirring. but at one point i did put the bowl in the microwave.
c: ok, so maybe soften the cream cheese before stirring in.
c: alright so it's all mixed up. then what?
b: well then you roll them into little truffle sized balls and you take a spear and you dip them into the chocolate. this is when it gets dicey.
c: wait, wait, wait. a spear?
b: yeah. you have to spear them.
c: what does this spear look like?
b: like...a really long fork but with only three prongs.
c: so like a carving fork?
*break in interview to get said spear*
|exhibit a: the spear in question.|
c: ok. so you speared* them and put them in chocolate and then what happened.
sidenote: he requested that
this later be called a trident
and not a spear. in order
to maintain journalistic integrity,
this request was not honored.
b: well. they really fell apart on me at first.
c: hmm...do you think maybe you should have refrigerated the balls for like fifteen minutes before dipping them?
b: well, little lady, i suppose hindsight is 20/20 isn't it?
c: no - i'm just thinking out loud here! i'm not trying to critique you.
b: well. my eyesight is 20/15.
c: ok. i get it. great.
b: anyways. yes, perhaps i will do that next time.
c: ok, so you're dipping them and they're falling apart.
b: yeah. so i dip them in with a spear, and try to keep them together by holding them with the spear and a spoon before putting them on a cookie sheet covered in aluminum foil. you kind of get better as you go.
c: understood. and then you refrigerate them when you're done?
b: yeah. oh - wait! i just had an idea!
c: what's that?
b: well, i was thinking it would be easier to dip the truffles if i had like tweezers or something. but you could just sterilize a pair of pliers and use those instead!
c: wait - like sterilize a pair of pliers from your toolbox and use those to dip the truffles?
b: yeah. it would totally work.
c: so now the list of things you need is - a package of oreos, a loaf of cream cheese, melted chocolate, a kitchen hammer and a sterilized pair of pliers?