Wednesday, February 29, 2012

on a recipe for truffles according to a man.

the following was told to me on saturday morning and this is pretty much verbatim. enjoy. i'm in italics.
c: (after 6th truffle that morning) you have to tell me how you made these. they're amazing.
b: yeah, sure. well...you need one package of oreos, a loaf of cream cheese and chocolate dipping sauce. basically that's just melted chocolate chips.
c: a loaf of cream cheese?
b: yeah. a loaf.
c: alright...so what did you do first.
b: well i got a hammer and hammered the oreos into little pieces. in fact, i bought a hammer for this recipe.
c: you hammered the oreos?
b: yeah. it's not like i have a food processor.
c: and you specifically went out and bought a hammer to make this recipe?
b: yeah. i bought a kitchen hammer.
c: a kitchen hammer? what exactly is a kitchen hammer?
b: you know. it's like mallet-shaped. has ridges on one side.
c: wait - you mean a meat tenderizer?
b: well...yeah. a kitchen hammer.
c: oh my word.
b: what?
c: nothing. ok. so you need a package of oreos, a loaf of cream cheese, melted chocolate and a kitchen hammer to make these.
b: yup.
c: ok. then what.
b: well, then mix the crushed oreos with the loaf of cream cheese.
c: did you melt the cream cheese at all?
b: well, no. i just kept stirring. but at one point i did put the bowl in the microwave.
c: ok, so maybe soften the cream cheese before stirring in.
b: sure.
c: alright so it's all mixed up. then what?
b: well then you roll them into little truffle sized balls and you take a spear and you dip them into the chocolate. this is when it gets dicey.
c: wait, wait, wait. a spear?
b: yeah. you have to spear them.
c: what does this spear look like?
b: like...a really long fork but with only three prongs.
c: so like a carving fork?
*break in interview to get said spear*
exhibit a: the spear in question.
c: ok. so you speared* them and put them in chocolate and then what happened.
sidenote: he requested that
this later be called a trident
and not a spear. in order
to maintain journalistic integrity,
this request was not honored.
b: well. they really fell apart on me at first.
c: hmm...do you think maybe you should have refrigerated the balls for like fifteen minutes before dipping them?
b: well, little lady, i suppose hindsight is 20/20 isn't it?
c: no - i'm just thinking out loud here! i'm not trying to critique you.
b: well. my eyesight is 20/15.
c: ok. i get it. great.
b: anyways. yes, perhaps i will do that next time.
c: ok, so you're dipping them and they're falling apart.
b: yeah. so i dip them in with a spear, and try to keep them together by holding them with the spear and a spoon before putting them on a cookie sheet covered in aluminum foil. you kind of get better as you go.
c: understood. and then you refrigerate them when you're done?
b: yeah. oh - wait! i just had an idea!
c: what's that?
b: well, i was thinking it would be easier to dip the truffles if i had like tweezers or something. but you could just sterilize a pair of pliers and use those instead!
c: wait - like sterilize a pair of pliers from your toolbox and use those to dip the truffles?
b: yeah. it would totally work.
c: so now the list of things you need is - a package of oreos, a loaf of cream cheese, melted chocolate, a kitchen hammer and a sterilized pair of pliers?
b: yeah.
c: wow.

14 comments:

  1. I. love. this. Kitchen hammer, a spear, and pliers, oh my! He totally made this recipe masculine and I like that. I think it's so sweet that he made these for you, falling apart in the chocolate dipping sauce and all!

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    Replies
    1. I thought as a fellow baker you'd enjoy it! and yes - so lucky. especially since they were delicious.

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  2. HILARIOUS! I'm silently cracking up here in my cubicle, but I almost laughed out loud a couple times! You've got a great guy right there. Hold onto him, even if he is prone to suggesting bringing pliers into the kitchen! Those oreo truffles sound so good it doesn't matter how they were made :)

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    Replies
    1. haha thank you! I'm glad it could make you laugh and yes, not letting this one go :)

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  3. Just came across your blog and I just love it! :) definitely a new follower!!!
    look forward to reading more of your post :)

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  4. Oh. My. Goodness. Best blog post ever. I'm thinking this should become a series.

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    Replies
    1. haha. good idea! I should have him bake something once a month and see what the results are.

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    2. Oh I like this idea for a series!

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    3. i'm definitely thinking about it - funny stories and yummy food? i'm in!

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  5. Lol! Brilliant! I think you should call the series: Baking with Power Tools!

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  6. LOL you are too funny! Those truffles look so good, the hammer was worth it!

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  7. This made me laugh out loud, thank you for that! The truffles look sooo good!

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  8. This.is.amazing.

    Best story (and recipe) ever.

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