and, really, i don't mean to political here. and i don't think this post is. i usually use this blog to write about what's on my mind or happening in my daily life. and well, this has recently been running through my mind lately.
as i'm sure many of you know, there are quite a few debates going on in the country about contraception. and this post isn't really about that. i'm sure we all have different views on contraception and sex and marriage and babies and everything in between. and this isn't about that. it's about how people are talking about those issues.
i've noticed that rush limbaugh has called women who take birth control "sluts" and "prostitutes". and a rick santorum fundraiser said that women need to hold aspirin in between their knees to prevent pregnancy, i.e. keep their legs closed. and the ny times has taken polls to see how many women have used birth control.
and this is where i'm confused.
does it not take two people to make baby? did i miss a crucial lesson in biology? are women spontaneously able to become pregnant?
because many men sleep with women on birth control. know they're partner is on birth control. like that they're on birth control. think it's fine that they're on birth control. are they not sluts? do they not make the prostitute cut?
and why are we the only ones tasked with holding the aspirin in between our knees? are men not responsible and tasked to prevent sex or pregnancy or both? are we saying that men are such wild animals, with no self-control, that if any woman gives them an opportunity to have sex they'll take it? why are women the only gatekeepers of sex? why do we think so lowly of men?
we poll women to find those that have taken birth control and again - doesn't a partner consent to this? if a man didn't approve of this medication, wouldn't he ask the woman to stop taking it? or refuse to sleep with her on moral grounds? shouldn't the poll ask - who has used or consented to the use of birth control in a sexual situation?
and finally, there is a law that they tried to pass in virginia. the law would require a woman to get an invasive ultrasound before receiving an abortion. and i ask - why isn't the father required to be in the room and see the image too? i know sometimes abortions are decided by the mother and the father has no say. but many, many fathers have a say and many consent. why aren't they in that room? why aren't they also made to look at the image? why aren't they mentioned in the law?
as i said before, i am incredibly confused. in the many opinions i've heard in the news - conservative, liberal, independent, fox news, msnbc - never do we talk about a man's role in all of this. and yes, i understand. they don't swallow the actual pill. the effects of pregnancy are most acutely felt by the woman. some women make decisions and never tell their partners. i get that. but...a lot of women do tell their partners everthing. and i'm confused as to why we don't question and judge the couple's decisions and only the woman's.
has this bothered you or have you thought of it this way? am i completely wrong? are you not wanting to read something this heavy with your morning coffee? lay it on me thick. i've got all day.