Wednesday, May 2, 2012

on the inconvenience of love.

via here.
almost every morning i see a man in my neighborhood take his dog for a walk. i see them some evenings, too. he comes outside, takes the dog's diaper off, and they hobble around the block. it's one block, but i assume it takes about twenty minutes. and if i catch them at the end of the walk, he puts on a new diaper and leads his dog inside. sometimes he looks tired, sometimes he's jovially talking to the doorman, sometimes he looks sad, sometime he seems annoyed. but he's there, every morning, doing what he has to do.
while it breaks my heart to see them, it reminds me it about what it means to be loyal, to put others before you, the promises love makes. many of us don't buy a puppy or marry our spouses or start friendships and think about having to one day put a diaper on that person. and yet, it happens.
so last night, when i was catching up on the office, and in the middle of a speech i heard andy say:
"it's about being there for someone after it's become inconvenient for them to be around."
it hit me.
and yes, i know it's just a silly tv show, but i don't think i could have said it better myself. it hit me that that's what i had been thinking the whole time, i just couldn't place the word.
in/con/ven/ient.
inopportune, untimely. not suiting one's needs or purposes.
caring for our parents when they age, or knowing when to get help. a spouse that cheats. a teenage son or daughter that gets bad grades. a friend that never calls you back. a dog that needs to wear a diaper.
we all have different limits. some things i would stick around for, but you would not and vice-versa. but andy's quote is a good reminder that sometimes our relationships, our pets, our lives, will become inconvenient. we won't want to stay by them and we won't them around. those relationships will take on burdens we never really visualized or prepared for at the rosy beginning. and i mean, how can you? i still can't quite imagine my parents older and feeble, or my friend sick with cancer, needing me to wash out their bedpan. but it's then that we'll show the ones we love that we really mean it, inconveniences, dirty diapers and all.

8 comments:

  1. Yes! Thank you for this post, for piecing these easily overlooked moments in life together, and reminding us all that no one ever promises sunshine and rainbows every day.

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  2. Great post. I think of this A LOT because my dad cares for his mom, who is wheelchair-bound. He NEVER complains. I'm not kidding. He never makes her feel like she's an inconvenience. I am always amazed by his patience, and I hope to learn from it. Thanks again for this! xo.

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  3. girl, I love your insight. I think your deep posts are your best. this is totally the way we should love others.

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  4. What a heartwarming ans heartbreaking post. I feel so bad for the man and his dog but am so happy they have each other to love. There is no happy without sad and pleasure without pain. We do for the ones we love and they do for us.

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    Replies
    1. this was said so eloquently - thank you.

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  5. This is something I think about quite a lot, not so much being there for somebody else (because I know without a doubt that I will be), but being the person that somebody else has to care for. I do love these thought provoking posts you do Colleen!

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  6. This is so beautiful, and rings true. It kinda made me tear up too.

    *Erin

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  7. This is so beautiful. I love the way that you think and how you can write such deep things that ring so true. I think about this sometimes when I think of my parents getting old or Caleb and me getting old... I want to love well even then.

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