do you have some tired and true fashions that call your name? the ones you wish would stop? your known weaknesses? because i do. oh boy do i ever. anytime i go shopping you'll usually find one of these in my dressing room. i try it on, and i do my best to leave it behind.
it doesn't always work.
i'm also aware that i may be the only person who thinks this way about this kind of clothing. so if you own some, don't feel ashamed. feel proud. you've done what i couldn't - and that's be a normal person.
so shall we go into my head and listen to the conversations i have with myself as i shop?!
let's do it!
first - lace. ahh, lace. i love lace. dresses, skirts, shirts. i fall for every lace piece i see. and then comes the old nagging voice,
"but colleen, won't you look like a tablecloth in that? a big old tablecloth covering a table."
yes, friends, i love tablecloth clothes. or, what i fondly refer to as - my tabletop tops. anytime i try on a lace top, all i can see is a tablecloth. so i put it back. but it doesn't mean i don't love it.
next up - my strange obsession with clothing covered in baby animals/small woodland creatures. this category was best coined by britney spears: not a girl, not yet a woman. i am always drawn to them before kindly reminding myself that i'm not a five-year old girl. i'm a WOman. a grown. ass. woman. i bring home a paycheck. i bake cookies. i drop f-bombs. all three are characteristics of a WOman. (seriously, look it up). and yet...i want to wear a sweater with a bunny on it. just like a five-year old girl. i know, because i used to be a five-year old girl. and as i head to the dressing room, a sweater with a bunny frolicking about his jolly way on the front, i ask myself the tough questions:
"colleen, are you a girl or a WOman?"
and i reluctantly answer that i'm a WOman.
and i put the sweater back. i cry. the bunny cries. it's a mess.
and then, my weakest category. try as hard as i can, i usually have little resistance for items in this category. it's hard to have any left after passing up the opportunity to look like a five-year old wearing a tablecloth. yes, my weakest category:
wanna-be figure skater.
everytime i vaccumm my apartment i find a sequin somewhere due to the fact that i wear them so much. august, december. it doesn't matter. sequins are lurking. show me a tight dress covered in sequins and my eyes go wide and reason leaves my body. just wait until i post pictures from the upcoming holiday season. you'll see. you'll know it when you see it. you'll see just how bad it can get. i think if i could dip my face in sequins and hit the party circuit i would. would i get invited to many new york city parties in that state? probably not. but i'd be happy as a clam.
yes, sequins are my greatest weakness. as i head to the dressing room with a sequin dress in my hands i clamor to remind myself that i will look like a crazed oksana baiul. and then i remember that oksana was a winner, and gosh darnit i will be too. if i just get this one last dress covered in sequins.
what are your greatest weaknesses?